We have all been in that situation where we really don't want to do something, but instead of flat out saying no we just comply or make up some excuse. Well, on wed night this exact thing happened to me! It was roomates birthday and we all went to dinner at Cheddars. Afterwards they were all going out to the bars downtown, but I just really didn't feel like attending! My roomate said "Hey do you wanna come downtown with us". Unconciously I said "Aww I can't I have a test tomorrow". I flat out lied to her! I felt bad at the time.... but I shouldn't have because I was just using a linguistic concept! (I tell myself this to make myself feel better about lying ha) She offered/invited me and I used the dispreferred second by refusing the offer. It would have been easier to just say no, but then that wouldn't have been very polite. Instead I had to make up a lie or in other words (flouting the maxim of quality). I've realized that these situations come up almost everyday and in every situation I always use some sort of flouting or second preference! At least now I don't feel bad since I know there is an actual term for it!
After reading the article about silence in Japanese conversation I found myself thinking about it. When you are face to face empty silence doesn't really exist because you can pick up on non-verbal cues such as smiling, nodding but what about the phone. My sister called me today to make sure I got "the message" about "the party". After replying "yes", the awkward silence ensued. For 3 minutes, yes I counted there were no words spoken, did she fall asleep? This is what I consider silence in converstion.
So yesterday I received a voicemail from my sister declaring, "The party is at 2 p.m. at the house". After listening to this I started thinking about the explicatures of this statement.
"the party", whose party? My niece's birthday was last month, is the party for her?
2 p.m., ok nice, today, yesterday, Saturday, with Cingular I have received messages a week after it was left so this needed some clarifying.
"the house", who's house? My sister's house, my mom's house, my house, yikes!!!
People really need to think about the messages they leave. LOL
Well yesterday in class we had a sheet of really exercises, and little did I know that later that night I was going to have a dilema very similar to "John told Steve he won the prize". So last night I was trying to be little miss domestic and decided to cook some chicken patties. Well I was reading the directions and it said for a skillet, "Cook for 8 minutes on each side". So first I was like okay no problem, but then I had a "uhhh?" moment. I wasnt sure if it meant cook on each side for 8 minutes OR cook 8 minutes total meaning 4 on one side and 4 on the other. I would have never even thought twice if it wasnt for our class lecture. The directions were ambiguous and clearly lacking any reference to how exactly I was supposed to cook the chicken! Needless to say I just went with the 8 minutes total, and it definately wasnt done enough! Maybe I should send them the journal of pragmatics in the mail! ;)
So, I recently went to the doctor for a sickness and while I was there I realized how many maxims there are in a simple visit. For one, Some people do not exactlty tell the whole truth when they visit the doctor for personal embarassment issues. This is definately flouting the maxim of quality. However, if one doesnt tell the whole truth then it is hard for a correct diagnosis. In my case, I told the whole truth. I had just been running a temperature and caoughing non stop. He then asked me some questions in which I thought HE was actually flouting the maxim of relation. He asked if I had been vomitting. I suppose it wasn't an absurd question but I usually don't correlate a sore throat with vomitting! However, he is a doctor, and in his eyes I suppose it IS all relative. It is funny how in certain settings one maxim can mean one to 1 person and something completely opposite to another. What do you guys think? Do you think in a doctor setting it is important to never flout?
Leslie's post made me realize that in my job I ALWAYS have to show negative politeness. I am currently an intern for Aflac insurance, but I am liscensed to sell as well. When I am out cold calling on businesses I must keep use negative politeess at all times. I usually ask "Hello, I am wondering if it's possible to meet with whoever is in charge with your employee benifets?" I've realized however that the gatekeepers are more reluctant to use positive politeness though. They just say yes or remain more casual as I remain more formal. It is possibly just an unconcious reaction. I wonder why this is though? Any ideas?
A girl I work with is constantly dying her hair and asking "do you like my hair". Yesterday she attempted to bleach the blue dye out of her hair and now has multi-colored hair, gray in spots, blue and pink in others, and even a few streaks of blonde and green.
Some of the responses I have heard are,
Wow, it's different. CONSIDERSATION?? Quality, Quantity, Manner
Rainbows cheer me up! Relevance? manner, quantity
Like, is a strong word.
It looks "nice". Manner, quality
Someone handed her a card for their hairdresser.
Someone simply said, WELLLLLL manner
My hair turned purple one time. relevance?
Isn't it funny how one question can encourage so many different people to flout so many different maxims. I wonder if she was seeking agreement.
So, yesterday I received an email from someone I have been friends with for a long time. We were very close for years and just recently lost contact with each other. The email read as follows:
Hey,
Before I bother with a long, drawn out email, a question. Are you still out
there in internet land? If so, are you interested in communicating with me?
How are you?
I truly hope all is well with you. And for what it's worth, I miss you.
I highlighted the part that seems really strange to me considering the closeness of our previous friendship. I find it unusual that he would select Negative Politeness to reach out when it actually seems to put us at a distance. My question is this, why negative politeness and what perlocutions could this express?
So, one of the commercials that absolutely crack me up is the car commercial where the people are making requests similar to those you would to get your mp3 car player to play such as "Play artist Seal". I absolutely love the part where the woman says "open door" and proceeds to walk into it spilling her coffee. Anyway, a couple days ago I had an armload full of family stuff and trying to use humor to hint to my husband that I needed him to open the door I said "Open Door" about 4 times. When he still didn't get the hint I looked at my 2-year-old and said, "wouldn't it be nice if Daddy would open the door for Mommy?" Of course I was making a request. Yesterday, we were walking up to the back door, my daughter had her favorite rabbit in one hand and her backpack in the other. She looked at her rabbit and said "wouldn't it be nice if mommy would open the door for Emma?" This is the way my two-year-old's brain works. Just a few days ago she got really upset with me for not listening and said, "some people never listen" to get my attention. She has certainly opened my eyes to my passive aggressive requests.
After our class discussion I started thinking about the signs we see everyday and the perlocutions that could accompany them. For example, Slippery When Wet might yield the reaction of slowing down on a wet road. It might yieldt the response, "duh". I found a few interesting ones. What are the possible perlocutions for these signs.
